❤jsy

Sunday, December 03, 2006 17:36

hais , why everything has to be like that ? i merely told you to help me see how much that watch cost and it all started . i dont want to eat when school reopen . do you know why ? i want to save money as soon as possible so that i can change phone and it's the same model of phone with you together . i'm not working . i got no money . if i were to tell my parents i want to change phone , they will surely give their piece of mind to me so i dont want to let them know even if they were to know for one thing they will scold and at least there's something i can say . i save and used my very own money . nevermind . you got your mama always there when you want to change a new phone . you think i dont want ? i tell you something seriously , my parents have never bought me any phone at all ! not even once please ! those phones are bought by my auntie and uncle . and worst of all , if i never buy hi-card when i was in secondary one , there will not be any handphone for me ! my parents have never have the thought of giving me and my sister any handphone please . my sister got her phone was because i help her . i send in for one contest and we got it so my mama had to sign and she went to sign and that's how my sister got her handphone . if my parents have the thought of giving us handphone , then my sister handphone will not be cancel due to high bill . maybe just confiscate it but not cancel the line . secondly , i give up many thoughts of having an adidas watch which i like because i know i got no money at all . even if i have , i will not spend it on the watch even if that's the one i want or limited edition . and you said i never change . because what i want i must get it . if what i want , i must get it den why is my wishlist till now all the things are not cancel or strike away ? if i can get it within my reach , i of course will get it . nevermind you dont understand cause in your heart , no matter how much or how hard i try to change , you will say i never change at all . thirdly , i dont think you trust that i can take care of myself when i'm out with friends and you are working . if i said that i'll take care and you trust me , you will not ask sutsiam to take care of me already . fourthly , trying having a year when you lend schoolbag from your brother or sister and they next year due to school reopen they need to use and you give it back to them and you have no bag to use . frankly , i tell you one thing , none of the things i need is bought by my parents . except for school shoe , books and uniform . other than that , i have to save myself if i can't den i will ask my auntie to buy for me . fifth , i dont have pocket money during the holiday when i go to school but my sister does so of course she can buy lots of things and i on the other hand have to wait till school reopen when i get my pocket money and not eat just to save up for the things i need . i'm not like you . there's always someone to pay you back the money or even give you money even when it's holiday . sixth , i never take things for granted at all . if i do , i can tell you one thing , we will not be able to last so long . if i take things for granted , i will skip lots of my meals as i know , you will still forgive me then but did i ? no . i did none of this sort of things . if i take things for granted , i will not even say a thank you when you make for me breakfast even thou i din say face to face , i still send ya a message to tell you . why ? just to let you know i appreciated your effort for waking up so early to make breakfast for me . if i take you for granted , why do i still send you a message on raining days to ask you to drink something warm ? why do i still bother to use my parents phone to send you messages when i'm in thailand and i jolly well know that overseas messages are expensive . you think i care for how much it may cost ? no . i tell you . i dont even care . all i want is just to let you know that i'm safe and sound and can take care of myself when i'm in thailand and just to let you know i enjoy and miss you . even thou it's not every single day , at least i know i have let you know what i want to let you know . if i take you for granted , why do i still bother to help you find songs when you want ? chat with you online and at night on the phone . sometimes it last till 2am and waking up just to make sure you are awake and not late for work . if i take you for granted , do you think i will do all these for you ? no . i can tell you . dont believe you can ask my ex . i did none of it for him . why ? cause i know we will not last that long and i dont even bother to let anyone know . but for you , when my friends ask , what i say is just ya . waiting for my stead to come . if i take you for granted , why do i still wait for you to come and fetch me go home ? why do i still remember the happy memories together ? if i take you for granted , i will not even care whether it's happy or sad memories . why do i still cry when you first tell me wanted to break up ? and second time also ? if i take you for granted , all i will say is just break than break . no big deal . but i did i say all those ? no . none of them . why ? cause i believe that we will be able to last through eternity . i can tell you one thing . you is the only one i bother to care about . bother to do things with complain about . bother to forgive you and stuffs . if you dont believe den ask my ex . when he sprain his leg , my friends tell me . all i say is just oh i see . nevermind one . but did i say all those things to you ? no . why ? CAUSE I CARE FOR YOU AND NEVER TAKE YOU FOR GRANTED ! NOT EVEN ONCE PLEASE ! I NEVER HAVE THE THOUGHT OF TAKING YOU FOR GRANTED AT ALL ! seventh , happy family and enjoyable life . what is that ? try having a family when you get scolded for nothing all the time due to your blardy brother which your parents are bias to . you call that happy ? enjoyable life ? please , it's more like hell to me . having to do lots of household chores when my mama sits and watch tv and you are using com half way when the baby your mama is looking after cries and your mama scolded you and she still sits down there watching tv . do you know that , lukas , my brother and eunice all of them are me and my sister looking after and have to do household chores and not even have a single cents ? you call that happy family ? sometimes when you just wake up and get scolded for nothing and you dont know anything because all these while you are sleeping and suddenly someone scolded you when you are awake . you call that enjoyable life ? if you want , you can take it . i dont want this kind of family . what's family to me ? i dont even know what's family . eighth , i can dont eat my meals at all . why do you think i still eat my meals willingly ? cause i dont want you to worry for me and stuffs . nevermind . saying all these here are just purely useless right ? afterall , you will still think i'm like my sister . even no matter how hard i try to change for you . all my efforts to you are just equal to i'm just like my sister . why do you think before i go to thailand , i still make the effort to do something which i have never do for my ex but for you only ? cause i just want you to know that , i will come back in one piece . alive not dead . why ? cause i know how to take care of myself and i dont want you to worry for me when i'm in thailand and you are in singapore . nevermind . my words here and explainations here are just shit and rubbish . THIS IS THE LAST TIME OF ALL I'M GOING TO SAY . BELIEVE IT OR NOT . I NEVER TAKE YOU FOR GRANTED AND I TRIED HARD TO CHANGE FOR YOU . EVEN THOU IT'S NOT PERFECT AT LEAST I KNOW , I TRIED MY BEST BUT I STILL CANT . I'M NOT LIKE MY SISTER . TO YOU , I MAY NOT HAVE CHANGE BUT I MYSELF KNOW , I HAVE TRIED MY BEST TO CHANGE . IF YOU STILL THINK THAT I'M LIKE MY SISTER DEN I GOT NOTHING TO SAY ALREADY . PEOPLE DO CHANGE . I'M NOT PERFECT . IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A PERFECT STEAD DEN ALL I CAN SAY IS SIMPLY , I'M NOT THOSE KIND OF PEOPLE OR GIRLS YOU ARE LOOKING FOR . FOR ONE THING I KNOW , I HAVE NEVER TAKE YOU FOR GRANTED NO MATTER WHAT . now is 18.33pm already . there's still no messages from you after 16.38pm . nevermind . forget it . maybe i should just forget about the thought that you will possibly going to call me tonight after your work . ok den . IT'S MY FAULT . SORRY . FORGIVE ME IF YOU WANT TO BUT IF YOU DONT WANT , I ALSO WILL NOT BLAME YOU . CAUSE IT'S MY FAULT . BUT JUST TO LET YOU KNOW , FOR YITING'S BIRTHDAY IS ON THE 6TH DECEMBER . SHE SAYS MEET AT 10.30AM AT JURONG EAST MRT . CONFRIM WITH HER IF YOU ARE GOING . BUT I GOT TELL HER SAYS MEET AT GOMBAK THEN TAKE BUS GO BUT I NOT SURE SHE WANTS ANOT . IF STILL GOT ANYTHING WANT ASK OR NOT SURE DEN LEAVE A TAG AT HER TAGBOARD . now is 18.47pm still no messages from you . hais . ='(

i'm baby love wifey (: